Let's Not Talk About the Future, Or the Past
by Lunabeegood
Summary: It takes place during E2 when two Enterprise vessels are in the same place and time. Lorian has some conversations with his parents. I'm a HUGE Trip/T'Pol fan, so besides the mention/inclusion of others on board for the story, it's mainly about them and Lorian. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: This is my first Enterprise ff. I've written for X-Files, Harry Potter and Game of Thrones before so it's not my first ff. I am intrigued by the Trip/T'Pol relationship and wanted to explore that a bit more. This fic will have a few chapters and is set sure E2 when the other Enterprise encounters the current Enterprise. Please review!**_

 _ **Ritual**_

Lorian could feel his father's approach even before the doors opened to the mess hall. Apparently the bond between parent and child surpassed even time and death.

The door opened and his father, a tall, blonde-haired, blue-eyed man walked into the mess hall and headed straight for the food. He'd been working non-stop since Lorian's Enterprise had docked with them and, knowing how engrossed his father got in his work, had probably skipped some meals.

"Lorian!" Trip Tucker called to his son in his southern drawl. "Can I sit with you?"

"Please," Lorian said as he nodded to the chair next to him.

Trip Tucker sat heavily in the chair, his body finally relaxing for the first time in hours.

"You need to rest," Lorian said as he eyed his father starting to devour the meatloaf before him. His father had eaten meat a few meals a week after he'd married his mother, but mostly adhered to a vegetarian diet for the remainder of his life.

"I'll rest once I get the warp coil online and not glitching," Trip said between mouthfuls as he looked toward his son. His son, what an odd thing to say.

"Your team will be able to function without you for a few hours," Lorian said clearly.

"Now you sound like T'Pol when you talk like that," Trip chuckled.

"Mother did remind you regularly about the need for sleep," Lorian said as he lifted a forkful of salad to his mouth.

A silence fell over the pair as Lorian felt, more than saw, his father struggling with something.

"I know you said you'd prefer if we didn't talk about the future," Trip started as he eyed his son with a sideways glance. "But could we talk about some of the minutia that won't have greater ramifications?"

"Minutia?" Lorian queried.

"The little things about our life together," Trip clarified. "Things that won't have any sort of impact on the future."

Lorian sat quietly, thinking about the request. It was illogical to discuss anything from the future, but he'd already divulged that his father died when he was fourteen…

"You can choose the topics," Trip offered, to sweeten the deal.

Lorian looked at his father clearing his plate of all remnants of food; somethings never change.

"When I was growing up, I was permitted to eat meat once a week," Lorian said with a smirk. "I still do to this day."

"Meat, huh?" Trip smiled. "T'Pol agreed to that?"

"It was a…compromise," Lorian said. "One of many in your marriage of different cultures."

"I'd like to know how I got her to compromise on anything," Trip mumbled under his breath.

"Mother was much more open to human rituals than she is now," Lorian said. "I ate ribs with you once a week while we watched waterpolo with Captain Archer."

"Just ribs?" Trip asked, intrigued.

"Mostly," Lorian chuckled. "Sometimes pizza, or chicken wings. A few times prime rib."

"So some meat, but limited meat?"

"You explained to mother that it was part of male bonding," Lorian said seriously. "And she wanted me to not miss out on that important human ritual."

"I see," Trip nodded as he chuckled.

"You find that funny?" Lorian asked, inquisitive.

"Male bonding isn't exactly a human ritual," Trip smirked. "But I guess I really just wanted to do that with my son and telling your mother it was a ritual stopped any arguments."

"Intriguing," Lorian said; for a moment he sounded just like T'Pol.

"So we did this until I…?" Trip asked, not wanting to push Lorian into a discussion of his death.

"For as long as I can remember," Lorian said. "Mother said you even brought me as a baby so she could have some time to herself. I have a picture of you carrying me as an infant in a sack like structure against your chest."

Trip chuckled at the image of himself walking down the halls with Lorian as a baby in a snuggly. The people that would look at him strangely… but with Enterprise being an inter-generational ship maybe it wasn't so peculiar.

"Thank you for sharing that Lorian," Trip said as he reached over and touched his son's wrist.

Lorian smiled softly at his dad; it was nice talking to him again.

Hours later, Trip Tucker encountered T'Pol coming from sick bay.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned when he saw her pale complexion.

"Just a headache," T'Pol said softly as she looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Neuro-pressure tonight?" Trip asked.

"As I said before…" T'Pol started.

"You mean before we met up with Enterprise and our son?" Trip asked, some edge to her voice.

"Just because he's our son in that timeline, doesn't mean you and I…"

"I'm suggesting neuropressure T'Pol, not a roll in the hay," Trip snapped. "You're getting headaches because of the stress of the situation and I thought I could help."

"Oh," T'Pol said as she stopped walking.

Trip had continued to walk and then stopped when he noticed she wasn't beside him anymore.

"T'Pol?" He asked as he walked back to her concerned.

"It's not just that," T'Pol said softly as her eyes darted around to see if anyone was near.

"What else is it?" Trip asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I sense…myself as well," T'Pol explained. "I'm still alive and on the other Enterprise."

"What?!" Trip asked astounded.

"Her thoughts are mingling with mine and…"

"You can access the other T'Pol's memories?"

"Vaguely," T'Pol explained. "She's blocking and I'm not searching, but our proximity…"

"T'Pol, does the Capt'n know?"

"He told me he's met with her," T'Pol said. "But I knew she was onboard as soon as they docked."

"And you haven't bothered to tell me?" Trip asked, a little hurt.

"Why would her being alive have anything to do with you?"

"Because I was her husband!" Trip said with a raised voice.

"She's almost 200 years old," T'Pol said tersely. "And she doesn't want to see you."

"What?" Trip asked, slightly hurt.

"She's…" T'Pol searched for the words. Prideful? Embarrassed? Scared? "She wants you to remember her as she was…as I am…not the old woman she's become."

Trip placed his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor, gathering his thoughts. T'Pol waited patiently for what she expected to be the next explosion of emotion.

"21:00," Trip said more than asked as he failed to meet her eyes. "Light your candles."

He turned on his heel and walked away from her, not looking back.

 ** _Renos_**

"So, most everyone had kids," Trip said as he laid under a conduit panel and adjusted the flow of energy. "With quarters being so tight, I'd love to know how we managed that."

Lorian looked down at his father's splayed legs and closed his eyes. He remembered exactly how tight those quarters were growing up.

"You renovated the cabins to suit families," Lorian said as he tested his father's conduits. "From the hallway, Enterprise looks the same as this one. But the cabins are quite different."

"Can you tell me how different or…?"

Lorian thought for a moment and decided that renovation crew quarters was not a secret that would alter the future.

"When a couple married, or decided to co-habit and become a family, they moved into one cabin, freeing up other cabins," Lorian said. "Then, as people had children they were moved to quarters next to empty cabins so we could retro-fit a door between the two quarters."

"Smart," Trip commented. "Like joined cabins."

"It was your idea," Lorian said as he took out a tool to adjust the flow of electricity. "And it was the easiest way to manage growing families."

"So the kids were housed on bunkbeds in the second cabin," Trip surmised.

"Washrooms were retrofitted with a second door so it could be accessed from both cabins and…"

Lorian went quiet suddenly and Trip waited for him to continue for half a minute.

"And?" Trip asked, wondering why the conversation stopped.

"You made some other modifications that suited the needs of families living in close quarters," Lorian said absently.

Trip slid out from under the conduit panel and looked at his son, confused.

"And these modifications are something you can't speak about because of the future?" Trip asked, intrigued.

Lorian met his eyes and then quickly looked away; he felt like a silly ten year old again.

"I just didn't want to embarrass either of us," Lorian said as he swallowed hard.

"Something I did that didn't work? " Trip asked confused.

Lorian decided that he shouldn't let his human embarrassment get in the way; he was also Vulcan and should not be embarrassed by a natural part of life.

"Sound-proof walls and sensors on the joining door to warn parents of a child's entry," Lorian said clearly.

"Why would…?" Trip asked, confused by the information Lorian had shared. First of all, he wasn't sure why sensors were needed or…

"I walked in on you and mother mating when I was ten," Lorian said clearly.

Then, Trip's face went as red as a tomato and he wished he was still under the conduit panel instead of looking at his son as those words were spoken.

"Oh," was all he could garble out as a knot formed in his throat.

"Mother explained that it's what couples naturally do and invited me to ask questions," Lorian said.

"Right when you caught us?" Trip asked, aghast.

"You were not pleased with the timing then either and…" Lorian started.

"I can imagine I wasn't," Trip said as he wiped a hand across his now sweating brow. Talking about his sex life with his son, who as older than him, was something he was having trouble wrapping his head around.

"Once you and mother dressed, she walked me through mating and procreation with diagrams and visuals," Lorian explained.

"Visuals?" Trip cringed.

"The Enterprise database is quite thorough," Lorian explained.

"I imagine it is," Trip sighed as he sat upright and took a deep breath. "Lorian, I'm sorry you…"

"It's fine dad," Lorian said honestly. "Because the next week you installed sensors on the door and sound-proofed the walls to a higher LQ factor. It served me well."

"Well," Trip sighed, "I'm glad something good came out of that situation. But, not child needs that sort of memory."

"Actually," Lorian said nostalgically. "After you were gone, surprisingly, it reminded me how much you and mother loved each other."

Trip didn't want to tell his son that remembering walking in on his parents having sex was a little twisted, so he just smiled at Lorian.

At 21:00 hours Trip hit the comm button on T'Pol's door.

"Come in," T'Pol called from inside.

When he walked in the candles were lit and she was in her meditation position. He was glad they weren't going to argue about the necessity of neuropressure tonight.

He knelt down across from her and waited for her to finish. Several minutes later, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Ready?" She asked.

Trip nodded and worked with her through several postures silently as he watched her carefully guarded Vulcan control start to release.

An hour later they had not spoken a word to each other. The silence in the room was comforting and peaceful and Trip could tell T'Pol was now headache-free.

"Thank you," T'Pol said softly as he released her neural nodes just bellow her arm pits. He was straddling her and focussing on his own breathing as he placed pressure on her nodes.

"No problem," he smiled down at her. Just as he was starting to lift his left leg up to get off of her she placed a hand on his leg and held him in place.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about T'Pol," she said softly as she met his eyes.

He looked down at her expression and saw deep remorse.

"I know," he said softly.

"It's difficult with you," T'Pol said softly.

Trip looked at her confused.

"She has these intense feelings that I can sense, even with her blocking and…"

"Intense feelings about what? Not seeing me?" Trip asked confused.

"Intense feelings about you," T'Pol said as she met his eyes.

"Oh and they are bothering you," Trip said as he placed one hand by her shoulder and pulled his body off of hers.

"They are," T'Pol admitted.

"Well, I'm sorry if her feelings for me are making your dislike of me so uncomfortable," Trip said with some venom.

"I don't dislike you," T'Pol clarified.

"You don't do you?" Trip laughed as he rose to his feet and looked for his shoes.

"Trip…" T'Pol said as she sat up.

"Same time tomorrow for your headaches?" Trip asked all-business as he shoved his feet into his shoes.

"I'm having trouble discerning her feelings about you from my own," T'Pol reluctantly admitted.

"What?" Trip asked confused. "T'Pol, I don't know what…"

His question was cut short by her walking two paces towards him and kissing him soundly on the lips. He, first taken aback, didn't know how to respond and, just as his arms were coming around her frame and he started to kiss back, she broke the connection.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked.

"I knew I was attracted to you," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "But I had convinced myself it was just physical until…"

"Until the other T'Pol showed you otherwise," Trip nodded, everything now finally falling into place.

"I just can't be sure that these are my feelings, or the feelings that I am getting as a projection from her," T'Pol said. "Until they are gone from our proximity, I won't know."

Trip scrubbed his hand across his lips still feeling the sting of her kiss on them.

"Did you have feelings for me beyond physical attraction before Enterprise joined us?" He asked, not sure he really wanted her answer.

T'Pol took a long time to answer and he could tell she was searching her memory.

"Possibly," T'Pol finally said.

"It's kind of a 'yes' or a 'no' question, T'Pol," Trip said as he watched her eyes betray her fear.

"You fail to understand," T'Pol said as she took a step away from him and turned to look out her window.

"I seem to fail to understand many things about you," Trip said exasperated.

"Vulcan's don't develop feelings for others," T'Pol explained. "Even one's mate is not necessarily someone whom you love or are attracted to."

"Sounds like marital bliss," Trip chuckled.

"But that is why I say possibly," T'Pol said as she wrapped her arms tightly around her frame. "I don't know 'yes' or 'no' because romance is not part of our culture, our language. I don't know is the best I can say."

Trip sighed behind her. He could feel the waves of uncertainty flowing off her body. He walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her own and hugged her tight against him before he kissed the top of her head. They stood like that for a long time, before he silently took his leave.

 _ **Reprimand**_

Lorian watched his father tear into the engineer who failed to properly close a valve. A mistake that sent a fellow crewman to the infirmary.

"I want to see my face in that reactor core once you are done scrubbing it!" Trip Tucker barked at the frightened crewman. "Dismissed!"

Lorian watched his father grind his teeth and march back toward his office where Lorian was sitting with him going over specs before the medical alert occurred. He knew that look on his father's face, and it meant trouble.

"Imbecile," Trip said under his breath as he walked into his office and slammed his hand down on his desk. The fact that Lorian had not upset his father didn't make him jump and less.

Trip noticed Lorian's reaction and immediately softened. "I'm sorry about that."

"You were always very passionate about your engines," Lorian said with a nod.

"Did their responsibility in engineering get any better?" Trip asked.

"A little," Lorian surmised.

"Well, at least that's something," Trip sighed. "Now where were we with those…Gates!"

Lorian jumped at his father's outburst and gripped the arms of his chair.

Trip noticed the reaction and his heart fell.

"Gates, make sure you run an diagnostic first," Trip said, suddenly more aware of his emotions and how they were affecting Lorian. "Lorian…"

"I'm fine," Lorian said as he looked carefully at his Padd.

"Lorian, I didn't ever hit you or…?"

"No, you never raised a hand to me, but I think you wanted to a few times," Lorian said softly.

"I'm sorry for that," Trip apologized honestly.

"No, I was a handful when I became a teenager," Lorian admitted. "You and mother were having a hard time…managing me."

"Really?" Trip asked, shocked.

"I was very willful," Lorian said. "And emotional."

"Hell, I'm sure your mother had a hard time with that," Trip said as he sat back in his chair.

"You both did," Lorian explained. "I was infatuated with Jasmine and…"

"Jasmine?" Trip asked. "Who's daughter was she?"

"I think it's best not to say, as her entry into the world was…problematic," Lorian said.

"Problematic?" Trip asked.

"A married crewwoman found out she was pregnant with an unmarried crewman's child. The affair was just prior to her marriage and resulted in Jasmine," Lorian explained.

"Was there a lot of that going on?" Trip asked.

"Very rarely, " Lorian explained. "There were a handful of divorces, and Jasmine is the only affair, that I'm aware of, that resulted in a child."

"It wasn't me or T'Pol though, was it?" Trip asked, worried.

"No," Lorian smiled. "You and mother were well matched and would never look at someone else."

"Good," Trip sighed with relief.

Lorian was happy to see his father's relief. He didn't need to share that Jasmine was the result of a short affair Malcom Reed had with Travis Merriweather's soon-to-be wife.

"So you had it bad for Jasmine?"

"I did," Lorian nodded. "And in my desire to impress her I took some risks that were very dangerous. You dressed me down several times and told me how disappointed you were in me."

"Lorian, know that when a father says he's disappointed he doesn't mean…" Trip started.

"I know that now," Lorian said softly. "But at the time…you made me feel like I was the worst son you could have ever had."

Tears formed at the edges of Trips eyes and he got up quickly from his seat and turned his back to his son trying to contain his anger toward himself. He remembered that feeling well as a son; his dad had done just the same to him.

"I'm sorry for that Lorian," Trip said, still not looking at him.

"I know," Lorian said softly. "And I knew you loved me. That was always clear, even when you didn't like me."

Trip nodded and wiped at his eyes. How could he have been the same father to his son that he swore he'd never be?

"Dad, I didn't mean to upset you," Lorian said honestly.

"It's just hard seeing myself that way," Trip said softly. "My dad was like that. I practically wet myself even at eighteen when he yelled at me."

"I know, you told me," Lorian said quietly. "But know that, using the transporter for myself and Jasmine mid-warp test was probably…"

"You did what?!" Trip snapped as he turned to look at his son.

"I told you I was difficult to manage," Lorian chuckled.

"Lorian you could have been killed or maimed or blown out into the…"

"I do remember this discussion from the first time we had it," Lorian nodded.

"Oh, right," Trip caught himself, remembering that the incident was over a hundred years ago.

"I was a disappointing son at times," Lorian admitted. "But I hope I've made you proud since then."

Trip's eyes filled with tears and he caught a sob before it came from his mouth. "Of course you have! Lorian, I couldn't be more proud of what you've accomplished."

"Thanks," Lorian said as he rose from his seat to give his father some time to compose himself.

Before he could take a step he was engulfed in the strong arms he remembered so well and suddenly memories of being hugged, tickled, swung, chased, tackled and kissed by his father surrounded him. Lorian hugged him back. Hard.

Hours later Trip was sitting at his desk in his quarters trying to get some work done, but finding it hard to focus when his comm rang.

"Come in," he said tiredly as he scrubbed his eyes.

The door opened and T'Pol stepped inside with a plate in her hand.

"You missed dinner with the Captain and the other Enterprise crew," she said as she walked toward him and placed a plate down on the desk in front of him.

"I had some paperwork…" Trip said with a yawn. "And I'm not sure I'll be awake long enough to perform neuro pressure on you tonight. I'm sorry."

"I don't have as bad a headache today," T'Pol admitted as she stood awkwardly in front of him.

"But you still have one?" Trip inquired.

"Yes," she answered honestly.

"Then I'll take a nap and get to your quarters for…"

"It's not necessary," T'Pol said as she looked around his room. "And you seem…agitated."

"Agitated?" Trip sighed. "That's a word for it."

"Can I assist in helping you rid yourself of this agitation?" T'Pol asked as she sat down on the edge of his bed.

Trip sighed heavily and sat back in his chair.

"Eat your sandwich," T'Pol said as she nodded toward the plate she had brought. It was a grilled vegetable sandwich; one she still tried to eat with a knife and fork when Chef served it.

"It's Lorian," Trip said as she reached for the sandwich and took a bite of it.

"His presence is disturbing you?" T'Pol asked.

"No, but some of his memories of me are…disturbing," Trip said, borrowing her language.

"It's not you that he speaks of," T'Pol clarified.

"I don't want to get into semantics with you," Trip said as he wiped his mouth with the napkin she brought. "Let's just say for the sake of argument that it is me. Today he told me a story about myself that sounded just like my father. And it wasn't a fond memory."

"So if we are illogically saying that his memory of his father is also you," T'Pol said clearly. "You are not pleased with the version of you he's presenting."

"Not entirely," Trip said softly.

"Could it be that he's presenting this version so you have an opportunity to change it? If, we pre-suppose that you and his father are one in the same and you have not made those errors as yet?"

"When you put it like that," Trip said with a chuckle. "It almost sounds like you think that is our future."

"I didn't say that," T'Pol clarified.

"No, but you almost did," Trip teased before he took another bite of his sandwich.

"Has he shared any good memories of you?" T'Pol asked.

"Yes," Trip said, not revealing anything. "Do you want to know them?"

"It's illogical as it has not, and possibly will not, happen," T'Pol said softly.

"But it could," Trip smirked.

"I'm assuming he hasn't shared anything that would alter the future significantly, if the knowledge is made available now?"

"No, he was clear on that," Trip said. "It's mostly about renovations, him getting into trouble, and eating meat."

"Meat?" T'Pol asked, taken aback.

"Trust me, you'll be okay with it," Trip smirked at her.

"Vulcans do not eat meat," T'Pol stated.

"Lorian is only half Vulcan," Trip explained. "Don't worry, I think by letting him eat meat once a week you get me to eat a mainly vegetarian diet."

"It is better for longevity," T'Pol said as she looked at the sandwich she brought him.

He didn't want to tell her that longevity wasn't an issue with him; that if history was true, he'd be dead before Lorian turned fifteen and she'd be a widow for a very long time.

"You're upset," T'Pol observed.

"It's nothin'," Trip said as he reached again for his sandwich. "Thanks for the sandwich."

"You are welcome," T'Pol said, still not rising from her seat on his bed.

She watched quietly as he finished off the sandwich and pushed the plate to the side. He yawned and stretched his arms out.

"I better get that nap if I'm going to be awake enough to not fall asleep on you while I perform neuro-pressure."

Trip rose form his chair and was confused when she didn't rise as well.

"I too, am in need to rest," T'Pol said, her voice rising. "Could I stay here with you?"

Trip looked at her dumbfounded. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect this.

"Of course, sure," he said as he stripped off his uniform down to his blues.

He turned to hang it on a hook and when he turned back she was shimmying out of her own Vulcan-style uniform.

Trip quickly pinched himself to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep at his computer terminal and this was all a dream.

He stood back and let T'Pol lift back his covers and get into his bed. He reached over and locked the door, placing a do not disturb on his comm system before he joined her in bed. He wasn't sure if she just wanted to sleep side by side or…

The burning questions in his mind were answered when she shifted toward him and placed her head on his chest and her arm around his midsection. Trip closed his eyes once she was comfortable, wrapped an arm around her back and fell into the best nap he'd had in years.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Here's the second chapter to this fic about Trip and T'Pol. This one is about T'Pol's interactions with Lorian. Enjoy! Please Review!

Loss

"Mother, you need to…"

"I prefer to be called Commander T'Pol," T'Pol said kindly as they stood in front of an astral-projection screen.

"Of course you do," Lorian said with a smirk. "You made me call you that whenever you were on duty."

"It wasn't me," T'Pol corrected him.

"Of course," Lorian sighed.

"That is a very un-Vulcan response," T'Pol noted.

"You were used to my human ways as I grew up," Lorian said nicely. "Encouraged them even."

"That's illogical," T'Pol said softly.

"You have never been the most logical Vulcan, mother," Lorian said as he pushed some buttons. "Logic would dictate you would have never married my father, or investigated how to have a child with him, or…well, you get the idea."

T'Pol just nodded.

They worked in silence for quite some time before she finally spoke up.

"I do have one question," T'Pol said as she turned to face him. "And you can feel free to leave it unanswered."

"Go ahead," Lorian said, trying not to smile. He was sure it was about his father and was secretly happy his mother was already coming to accept her fate with the man.

"How did Enterprise manage accommodating, feeding, educating and training all the children that came from these unions?" T'Pol asked.

It was not the question Lorian expected and he couldn't help the disappointment in his response.

"Quarters were altered, some crew took positions in nurseries, school rooms were built and senior staff helped with our education…"

"But the burden of doubling or tripling the crew compliment…" T'Pol started.

"Enterprise was built to accommodate 145 people, but just housed an original crew of just over 80 people…there was room for growth," Lorian said, slightly annoyed. Her question was so…Vulcan.

"I still don't understand why there wasn't a limit placed on the children…"

"You tried to implement one," Lorian said. "A one child policy that worked for a few years but then…well, it didn't."

"One child per couple is logical," T'Pol said as she turned back toward the screen.

"That was your argument when the pon farr happened to you when I was seven years old," Lorian explained. "Dad wanted another child but you were adamant to not have another."

"A logical choice considering Mr Mayweather, among others, had four or more children," T'Pol said clearly.

"Dad didn't care about logic, he wanted me to have a brother or sister," Lorian said a little harshly. Although Lorian knew, all too well, that she and his father were sexually active throughout their marriage, the chance to conceive a child was highest during pon farr.

"But that T'Pol and that Trip only had you," T'Pol surmised. "He eventually saw the logic in that decision."

"Or you finally agreed to the illogical," Lorian said under his breath.

T'Pol looked at him closely. "What do you mean by that?"

Lorian considered not telling her, but her cold Vulcan demeanour was so far from the mother he knew that he felt the need to do something.

"You didn't get pregnant that pon farr, but you did the next one, when I was fourteen," Lorian explained.

He watched her features twist slightly and she shook her head in confusion.

"You have no siblings aboard Enterprise," T'Pol said.

"You lost the baby," Lorian said softly, suddenly realizing the hurt he may cause this woman. "It was a stressful time for you. And the baby…well, he didn't make it."

"A boy?" T'Pol asked.

"I'm sorry," Lorian said softly. "We were all very…sad about the loss."

"And that T'Pol and Trip didn't have another…?"

"No," Lorian said, leaving out the fact that his father wasn't alive when she lost the baby and therefore couldn't father future children. It was up to his father to share that detail with her if he chose to.

"Excuse me," T'Pol said suddenly before she left the room.

Lorian closed his eyes and promised to not let his human bias to make her feel something, get the better of him again.

T'Pol walked aimlessly around the ship not sure where she was going, but knowing she needed to go somewhere, not where Lorian was. It was illogical, the feelings that were bubbling up inside her, but illogical or not, they were there and they needed to be released.

She finally spotted cargo bay 3 and entered. The sight before her was not what she needed. There was a crew moving some equipment and strapping it to a dolly while Trip Tucker oversaw the operation. She swivelled on her heel and was just about to leave when he spotted her and called her name.

"T'Pol!"

She stood frozen in her spot but didn't turn around, her illogical emotions about the loss of a child that wasn't hers, were too close to the surface. He must have spotted something in her because he quickly dismissed the team and everyone filed quietly past her before the door shut behind them.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked as he approached her carefully.

"I need a moment, please leave," T'Pol said, her voice cracking under the strain of emotional containment.

"I will," Trip said as he rounded in front of her and was taken aback by the haunted expression he saw there. "As soon as I am sure you are alright."

"I'm not alright," T'Pol gasped as she felt her insides rumbling.

"Then how about you just tell me what I can do for you," Trip said as he laid the padd he was holding down on a box and stood before her. Everything had been upside down and backwards with them lately. One minute she was telling him to leave her alone, the next she was snuggling up to him in bed for a nap. Trip wasn't sure what this latest issue was, but he could tell it was tearing her apart.

"You don't want to be here for this," T'Pol said stoically.

"I won't leave you until I'm sure you're okay," Trip said softly. "So do whatever you need to do, and know that it's okay."

A heart-wrenching scream suddenly tore from her throat and Trip found himself taking a step back out of fear. She screamed for almost a minute, loud and strong with veins popping out in her forehead and tears falling from her eyes before she finally stopped. He watched her the entire time, her own pain resonating into his body and, although he wanted nothing more than to take it away, he knew she needed to do this. When she was done, she literally started to collapse to the ground and he caught her and held her tight against him, eventually scooping her up in his arms and starting to walk out of the cargo bay toward sick bay.

The engineers and crewman waiting outside could not have heard the scream through the sound proof doors, but they were taken aback by the sight of the first officer unconscious and being carried by the Chief Engineer.

"Kelby, you're in charge," Trip said as he walked past them carrying T'Pol as if she weighed nothing.

Thrity minutes later she came to in sick bay and saw Trip sitting in the chair next to her bioped bed tapping something on his padd.

"Ahh, you're awake," Phlox said as he approached her bed. Trip looked up suddenly and glanced toward her face. Worry was all over his features.

"I'm fine," she said softly, her voice hoarse.

"You had an emotional overload," Phlox said kindly. "Have you been meditating?"

"Not the last two days," T'Pol admitted.

"Well, that could be one of the reasons. That and your fully grown son walking the corridors," Phlox said as he gave her a hypo-spray.

"Was that what brought this on? Lorian?" Trip asked.

"No," she lied.

"Rest for another ten minutes and then I'll clear you to go to your quarters," Phlox said.

"But I have…" T'Pol started as she began to sit up.

"You are off duty for the remainder of the day, Commander," Phlox said before he walked away.

"Please convince him that I need to…" T'Pol implored Trip.

"Rest in your quarters? Yes, we're all in agreement about that, darlin'" Trip said with a worried grin. "Now, do you mind telling me what this was all about?"

T'Pol turned her head away from him.

"You can choose to not look at me," Trip said as she heard him start to punch keys on his padd again. "But that doesn't mean I'm not here, and that I don't deserve an answer to my question."

Ten minutes later, she was cleared to go back to her quarters. She pretended he wasn't behind her the entire walk back and when he came into her room behind her she didn't protest. And, when he covered her laying figure with a quilt and sat quietly on guard across the room while he completed paperwork, she didn't protest that either. When she woke, hours later, he was still there quietly working.

"He told me that his mother lost a child when he was fourteen years old," T'Pol said, breaking the silence. "That she'd resisted having another child earlier and that this one, the one she lost, would be their last."

Trip nodded and swallowed hard. He knew, without even asking Lorian, that she'd lost the baby because of the trauma of his death. The timelines matched. He still hadn't told her about his dying, and now promised he never would. It was not a burden she needed to carry with her as well.

"It's illogical because it's not me," T'Pol said softly, almost afraid of her own voice.

"But some part of you knows it's you and knows the pain," Trip said as he rose off the chair and sat next to her in the bed she was still laying in.

"It's illogical to believe that," T'Pol said softly.

"It may be illogical, but you believe it," Trip said with a sad smile. "And I'm sorry for that."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"Do you think," Trip started. "Do you think Lorian is telling you this so you don't make the same mistake again? Like when he told me about my hollering at him?"

"It's possible," T'Pol said with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"And logical," Trip said with a smirk. "Maybe Lorian wanted a brother or sister and is hoping that part of history gets altered."

"It hasn't happened yet," T'Pol said with some admonishment. "And just because it's their…"

"Spare me the lecture," Trip said fondly. "And just accept that Lorian may, quite logically, be trying to help us."

"Help us?"

"If you and I don't get together darlin', there is no Lorian," Trip noted.

"True," T'Pol nodded. "But that is not a reason to…"

"Maybe the fact that I can't stop thinking about you is a good enough reason?" Trip asked, carefully. "Maybe the fact that you, although you have no preconceived notions of romance, feel something more for me than you do Malcolm, or Travis, or Jonathan."

For that he got a raised eyebrow.

"And maybe romance has nothing to do with logic and becoming romantically involved with me is the most illogical thing you could do but also the best thing you could do?"

Trip could feel his heart beating violently in his chest. This was a hail-mary if he ever threw one. She could decide to be all in, or throw up more walls that he'd never be able to tear down.

"I have made several illogical choices that have been good ones," T'Pol said, not giving anything away. "But logic would dictate that we wait until they leave to see if these are my emotions or those of T'Pol."

"A very logical choice," Trip smirked at her. "But I'm glad you are open to the possibility."

T'Pol wasn't sure what to do in that moment. Was hers the type of proclamation that was sealed with a kiss, intercourse, a hug?

"Do you wish to mate?" T'Pol asked, finally.

Trip caught the smirk that was making it's way across his features the second the question left her mouth.

"I'd love to darlin' but I've still got a lot of work to do and you've had a rough day," Trip said, not believing he was turning her down. "Raincheck?"

She knitted her eyebrows together, confused.

"Another night?" Trip clarified.

"Tomorrow, 22:00?" T'Pol asked.

Now Trip did chuckle.

"Let's see how you're feeling tomorrow, okay?" Trip asked as he stood from his spot. "Do you need me to bring you anything?"

"No," T'Pol answered him honestly.

"Okay, then," Trip hedged as he shifted from foot to foot. He was confused. She went from a screaming banshee, to a woman telling him she may be open to romance, to an offer for sex all in one day.

He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Try and meditate."

She nodded and heard him leave her quarters minutes later.

Loosen

"I'm sorry I left you yesterday," T'Pol said to Lorian as she re-joined him in front of the astral projections.

"I'm sorry I told you about that," Lorian said quietly. "It wasn't fair to you."

"No, it wasn't," T'Pol agreed.

"How about I tell you a nice memory?" Lorian asked.

"There's no need," T'Pol replied.

"But you'll like this one," Lorian teased. For a moment T'Pol saw Trip in his teasing.

"As it is not me, nor Commander Tucker…" T'Pol began.

"He taught you how to dance," Lorian smiled at her. "You had resisted for years but when Jonathan Archer got married there was going to be dancing; his wife's Ikaaran culture dictated that."

"And T'Pol felt the need to demonstrate her dance abilities?" T'Pol asked.

"You sort of had to as the officiant," Lorian chuckled.

T'Pol nodded. As the second in command, the duty to marry the captain would fall onto her.

"She had to dance?" T'Pol asked.

"Esilia, Captain Archer's bride, tried to teach you but…was unsuccessful," Lorian chuckled.

"I take it from your demeanour that T'Pol's dancing was unacceptable?"

"Until dad stepped in, yes, it was," Lorian smiled at her.

"And how old were you at the time?"

"I was six," Lorian said. "It was great entertainment watching you in the cargo bay. Dad and you walking through the steps side by side. It almost looked like one of those old Fred Astaire movies where the couples danced side by side."

"I am unfamiliar with Ikaaran dance ritual," T'Pol admitted.

"It was sort of flowing," Lorian explained. "There were steps but you had to improvise with your arms and torso. Dad kept saying you had to loosen up and not just do the steps. There were some arguments and stepped on toes, but you both laughed a lot."

T'Pol chose to ignore the comment about laughing. Vulcans did not laugh; the memory of a six year old was not to be trusted.

"T'Pol was required to do this dance as part of the ceremony?" T'Pol asked.

"Yes, up the aisle before the bride and groom walked in doing their own dance," Lorian explained.

"I can't imagine the Captain being comfortable with dancing either," T'Pol noted.

"His dancing was bad," Lorian noted. "Really bad."

T'Pol almost felt a smile escape but stopped it.

"But you looked beautiful," Lorian said nostalgically.

T'Pol was shocked by the emotion in his voice as he spoke.

"I don't know how dad did it," Lorian said with a smile. "Because the last time I saw you practice, you were good, but not that good."

"Maybe it was just a matter of mind over matter," T'Pol noted.

"No," Lorian said as he looked at her carefully. "I think it was a matter of not thinking, or thinking about something else, that allowed you to just…be."

T'Pol knitted her eyebrows together. That was a strange explanation.

"Dad talked about water a lot, I'm not sure what that was about, but you did almost look like you were dancing through water when you came down that aisle," Lorian said softly as he watched her reaction soften.

"I don't know how to swim," T'Pol said matter-of-factly.

"You did by the time I was born," Lorian said confused. "You were an amazing swimmer. I imagine dad taught you that as well."

"You mean T'Pol was an amazing swimmer," T'Pol corrected him.

"It was you, mother," Lorian said softly.

T'Pol held his gaze for a long time before she looked away.

"We should have the co-ordinates for the Captain in an hour," T'Pol said as she looked back toward the screen.

Lorian couldn't be sure, but he thought there was something in his mother's gaze that told him he had said something that rang true.

After the meeting with the captain T'Pol found herself in the mess hall being called over to sit with Trip, Malcolm and Jonathan Archer's great grand-daughter Karen.

"Karen was just telling us about this planet the crew used to take shore leave on every year," Trip said as she sat down with her vegetable plate.

"Every year?" T'Pol inquired.

"It was a great planet, similar to Earth in that it had differing climate zones, mountains, lakes, desserts…" Karen explained.

"Apparently we parked above the planet for a month each year and crew members were divided into two sets for a two week leave each," Malcolm explained.

"I spent many leaves at a great cabin in the woods, fishing, hunting, and swimming with my family," Karen explained. "Apparently the tradition began with Captain Archer."

"I wonder what I did on the planet," Trip inquired.

"Knowing you it involved a beach, surfing and scuba gear," Malcolm laughed.

"Probably just about right Mal," Trip chuckled.

"There was excellent clear water on the planet and many reef systems," Karen explained. "I know Lorian knows how to scuba dive."

"Well, I guess I must have taught him," Trip said as he looked at T'Pol. "I imagine you went swimming with us as well? Although I'm not sure I can see you on a surf board…"

"I can't swim," T'Pol admitted to the table; she needed to stop this illogical talk immediately.

"I imagine I taught you too," Trip said with a smirk. "It's no fun if its just me and Lorian out there…"

"I have no desire to learn to swim," T'Pol said vehemently.

"Fine, then you sat on the beach and…" Trip chuckled lightheartedly.

"This is a ridiculous conversation," T'Pol said as she stood from her seat and turned to leave the room.

"Wait, T'Pol!" Trip called after her.

She was gone before he could chase after her.

"Commander Tucker," Karen said as she looked at his annoyed expression. "I know for a fact that T'Pol still goes to the planet to swim each shore leave to this day. So, she may not swim now, but it becomes a passion of hers later."

"Now if this T'Pol would only realize that," Trip said as he picked up his fork and started to eat again.

Lesson

"Is everything alright mother?" Lorian asked as he watched her stalk past him in the hallway.

"I'm fine," T'Pol said as she walked past him.

Lorian turned on his heel and caught up with her.

"Now, is not a good time Lorian," T'Pol cautioned as she approached the turbolift.

"You're upset," Lorian said as he observed her.

"Vulcans do not get upset," T'Pol countered.

"You are not that type of Vulcan," Lorian said softly as he touched her arm.

"What do you want from me?" T'Pol implored. It was tiring being around all this talk of an impossible future.

"I want to help you," Lorian said as he lowered his voice.

"I don't know how you can help me," T'Pol said honestly.

The turbolift doors opened and they both stepped inside.

"Ask me anything and I'll answer you honestly," Lorian said.

"Lorian…"

"Anything," Lorian said as he looked into her eyes.

T'Pol made a snap decision and reached over to stop the turbolift's progress. She was going to ask the question she most wanted the answer to, and most feared the answer to.

"Am I happy? Are we happy, me and Trip and you?" T'Pol asked.

It was the first time she'd referred to herself as the person who was his mother and Lorian felt his heart clench; his mother was in this woman afterall.

"Very," he answered simply.

She buckled slightly at the waist and started to take deep breaths. Lorian wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one but he continued.

"When I was younger you taught physics to the kids in the onboard school and at least once every day, dad dropped by to plant a kiss on your forehead. You try to act annoyed but we can all see you aren't."

"You made sure he slept at least 8 hours each night and ate three meals a day even if it meant you brought food to him and ordered him off duty. He pretended to be bothered but I think he secretly liked that you cared so much."

"You and dad practiced meditation and neuropressure together and would have these conversations that no one else understood but you. I know you were bonded and could talk in your heads so, every once in a while, when dad laughed out of the blue, we knew you'd told him something funny."

"And many times I walked into our quarters to see you sitting in his arms, or the two of you slow dancing to music that you were playing, or laughing about some story he told. You also took three days of every shore leave to yourselves and would send me with the Archers. I don't know where you went together or what you did, but whatever it was, made you both very happy."

"So yes, mother, we are very happy. I felt so much love from both of you growing up. We were an amazing family."

T'Pol stood up and brushed some tears from her eyes before she spoke again.

"But yet you didn't marry?" T'Pol asked. "If we were such good parents…"

"I married Jasmine when I was twenty," Lorian said softly. "I hoped to have what you and dad had but…she died a few years later. A plant toxin was released near her when she was on a planet gathering specimens. I have been alone since."

"Lorian," T'Pol sighed as she reached and touched his arm.

"I'm married to my ship, mother," Lorian said sadly. "But I'm good with that."

"You still could…"

"You should know as well as I do, that there's only room for one romantic love," Lorian said as he met her eyes. "We both found them, luckily."

T'Pol nodded.

The comm sparked to life. "Commander T'Pol is everything alight?"

"Yes, fine," T'Pol said as she straightened her posture. "I just hit the button by accident. Carry on ensign."

T'pol reached over and just as she was about to touch the button Lorian grabbed her hand. He squeezed and she fiercely squeezed back and poured love into the small contact.

He nodded and released her hand so she could activate the turbolift again. When she got off at her floor she merely nodded to him and walked away.

A few hours later she found herself hitting the comm button on Trip's door.

"Come in!" Trip called from somewhere inside.

She walked inside and found no sign of him, but the washroom door was shut.

"Trip?" She inquired.

"T'Pol?" He asked confused as he opened the door and stood before her wrapped in a towel at his waist. "What are you doing here?"

"You were supposed to come to my quarters for intercourse at…"

"What?" Trip asked, astounded.

"The rain check?" She inquired.

"After the way you stormed out the mess, I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to see," Trip said as he stepped out of his washroom and walked past her.

"I have been waiting 78 minutes for your arrival," T'Pol explained.

"So you wanted to sleep together even though you were angry with me?" Trip asked, confused.

"I'm not angry with you," T'Pol explained.

"I know," he sighed as he looked through his drawers for underwear and a t-shirt. "Vulcans don't get angry."

"That's not what I was going to say," T'Pol said as she watched him drop some underwear back into a drawer and turn to face her.

"What?"

"I was going to say that I was annoyed with the situation, the possible future that the other Enterprise has postulated for us, the…"

"I thought you said you'd be open to the possibility of a future with me?" Trip asked annoyed as he placed both hands on his hips.

"I am," T'Pol said succinctly.

"Then why are you annoyed by the fact that you and I may end up together?" Trip asked, trying to clarify.

"I'm not," T'Pol answered.

"Hold on, you just said…"

"I said I was annoyed with the situation, all the talk on board of what COULD be," T'Pol explained.

Trip said nothing and waited for her to continue her explanation. He still wasn't sure there was a difference between what he'd said and what she'd said.

"I am Vulcan, and as such, I function better with information that is known, can be tested, verified…"

Trip nodded, there was no new information here.

"But the prospect that you and I will be together, have a child, create two children, be happy, that I'll dance and laugh…that cannot be verified and, in fact, based on my own knowledge of myself at this time, seems highly implausible."

Trip sighed and finally realized what was causing her so much anxiety.

"Darlin' no one knows anything, when it comes to romance, that can be tested and verified," he said as he stepped towards her. "And I don't know one person that isn't changed in some way by the person they fall in love with."

"But I swim," T'Pol said shocked.

"And I become mostly a vegetarian," Trip laughed as he took her hands in his. "Love is about taking a leap of faith and not knowing if it'll work out, but hoping it does, and doing everything to make it work."

"I'm still not clear if it is love I feel for you," T'Pol said honestly as she met his eyes.

Trip leaned in and kissed her passionately; she responded with equal passion and they found themselves tumbling into his bed, throwing off towel and clothes and making hurried and almost frantic love. After the act was done, Trip lay panting next to her, his chest heaving with the effort their activities had required.

"Well, that's definitely lust," he chuckled.

"And love?" T'Pol asked as she rolled to face him.

"Do you like talking to me? Arguing with me? Do you try and seek me out for no really logical reason?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol answered.

"Do you feel attracted to me more than any other man on this ship?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol answered.

"Do you find yourself thinking about me? Having pretend conversations with me in your head? Thinking of telling me something when you learn about it?" Trip asked.

"I do," T'Pol answered.

"Would it upset you or bother you if I was to leave and you'd never see me again?" Trip asked.

T'Pol nodded in agreement.

"Do you have unexplainable urges to touch me or kiss me?" Trip asked.

"I do," T'Pol answered.

"Then, by every definition I can think of, you love me," Trip smiled at her and touched her cheek. "But only you will know for sure, and maybe you won't trust that feeling until Lorian's ship is away from us and you know, for certain, that those feelings are yours."

T'Pol nodded in agreement.

"I know I love you T'Pol," Trip said as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm just waiting for you to figure it out too."

T'Pol leaned in and snuggled against his frame. She knew she'd feel better about this connection when she was sure it was actually she who felt these things.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This chapter deals with T'Pol and Trip talking to T'Pol (referred to as the older lady). I have a few visits with her instead of the original one. Enjoy! Please review**

 **Visit**

She hesitantly tapped the comm system that would allow her entry into T'Pol's quarters. It was illogical to be worried about this meeting; she wasn't this woman.

"Come in," the old, craigy voice called from inside.

T'Pol took a deep breath and stepped inside.

"I was told you wanted to see me?" T'Pol asked the woman who was almost bent double and not facing her.

"I have some calculations I'd like you to see," she said softly as she reached for a Padd and turned to face T'Pol.

The face before her was astounding. It was her foremother in every line, and wrinkle.

"I know it must be shocking to see…" the old lady began.

"You look just like my foremother," T'Pol said quickly without thinking.

"I was always told I bore a striking resemblance to her," the old lady explained.

"You do," T'Pol verified.

The old lady chuckled and reached for some cups. "Tea?"

"No thank you, I'll go back to Enterprise and…" T'Pol began.

"How's Trip?" the old lady asked.

"He's in good health," T'Pol replied as the old lady handed her a cup of tea.

"Sit," the old lady implored. "We should talk."

"I really…" T'Pol began.

"How are you dealing with your emotions? From the Trillium and the Pa'nar?"

"How do you…?" T'Pol started then stopped.

"You'll never fully recover but one day you'll realize that it doesn't matter," the old lady explained.

"I'd think being burdened with uncontrollable emotions would be something that would always matter," T'Pol explained.

"If you were to marry a Vulcan, maybe," the old lady said as she sat carefully on a chair. "But you're not going to do that."

T'Pol quirked an eyebrow.

"You already know that as well," the old lady explained. "You've never been happy in the traditional Vulcan sense. Marrying a Vulcan, living that life…it was never for you."

"I think I have plenty of time to decide that," T'Pol explained.

"Trip is a great source for these uncontrolled emotions," the old lady continued. "Had we not gone back in time…I probably never would have entered into a relationship with him."

"And why is that?" T'Pol asked.

"My Vulcan logic would have told me there was nothing logical about joining myself to a human," the old lady explained. "But oh, what I would have missed."

T'Pol again quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Well, you are fortunate your life took the correct path," T'Pol said as she placed down the mug and made to leave.

"And you need to put your logic aside for a moment and find a path to him as well," the old lady said.

"You don't know anything about my life," T'Pol said as she stood from her seat.

"I was you, one time," the old lady explained. "I know you have feelings for him, an attraction, an uneasiness. I know that you need to be brave and not run from that."

The old lady was presuming too much. T'Pol needed to leave.

"Thank you for the tea," T'Pol said before she picked up the Padd and walked toward the door.

"Humans don't have 200 years like we do," the old lady said as T'Pol touched the comm button to leave. "Don't wait too long."

T'Pol stepped outside of the quarters and immediately felt as if the air around her was suffocating her. She needed to leave this ship and meditate; possibly even before she looked at the information on the padd. She walked to the airdock that connected the two crafts and immediately walked into a scene that made her heart stop. A gurney carrying Trip whizzed past her on the way to Sickbay.

"What has happened?" T'Pol asked grabbing a crewman's arm as he ran after the gurney.

"The plasma injector Jones was fixing malfunctioned and Commander Tucker tried to fix it before it blew and…"

"Is he badly hurt?" T'Pol demanded loudly.

"He's not regained consciousness," the crewman said as he winced with pain. It was then that T'Pol realized how fiercely she was gripping his arm and quickly let go. "Return to your station. Is the leak controlled?"

"Yes, Commander," he answered before T'Pol ran after the gurney.

The scene on SickBay was chaos. Phlox was yelling orders to Cutler and a hoard of young engineers were standing around the gurney offering to help.

"You'd help if you got out of the way!" Phlox yelled as he pushed through the crowd.

"Everyone back to your stations!" T'Pol called to the lot of them and no one moved. "Now!"

Her last command caused them all to move swiftly and leave the SickBay so the doctor could work on Trip.

"What can I do?" T'Pol asked calmly as she walked up to the gurney and looked at the gashes on his face and torso.

"Help me cut him out of his uniform," Phlox said as he handed her some scissors.

She immediately got to work cutting down his torso, down his arms and down his pant legs ripping the cloth from his skin revealing wounds that looked far worse than she imagined.

When she finally had all the material cut and dangling from underneath him she dropped the scissors on a nearby table and watched Phlox add fluids to his body through and IV.

"What else can I do?" T'Pol asked, noting the quiver in her own voice.

"You santitize the wounds so Cutler can stitch them while I check for more internal trauma," Phlox said as he reached for his scanner.

T'Pol ran to the bank of supplies and grabbed alcohol and gauze returning to tend to his wounds one at a time.

"What happened?!" Captain Archer demanded as he marched into SickBay.

"He has plasma burns and some rather deep cuts from the casing that exploded in front of him," Phlox said out loud. "And I've found a few broken ribs and a mild concussion."

"What can I do?" Archer asked.

"Help T'Pol cleanse the wounds and if there's any large scrapnel imbedded feel free to pull it out," Phlox ordered. "Culter and I will get the smaller pieces before we stitch him up."

"And the concussion?" T'Pol asked as she handed Archer the alcohol.

"He'll wake in an hour with a severe headache," Phlox said as he tapped Trip's ribs carefully.

The four of them worked in virtual silence for the next thirty minutes before all the work was done and Trip was carefully placed in a biobed to rest.

"I'll stay with him," Archer said to T'Pol; obviously unaware of her need not to leave him.

"Captain, if you are needed on the bridge, I can…"

"No, you take over the bridge and I'll stay with Trip," he said with an authority that left no room for argument.

So T'Pol reluctantly left for the Bridge and worked the next five hours driven to distraction. Trip woke an hour into her shift but she only received word he'd awoken, no other details. And, when she was finally relieved of duty, she walked into the darkened sickbay and silently sat on a chair next to him. Captain Archer had left hours ago so they were alone except for Phlox who was tending to his creatures.

She scanned the SickBay for any eyes on her before she stroked his forehead with her hand and ran her fingers down his jaw. He was going to be fine, but that didn't make her feel any better. The old lady was right; she shouldn't wait too long.

 **Vast**

The old Vulcan T'Pol shuffled into SickBay and waved for the doctor to leave her alone in her progress. She had just left T'Pol's quarters and had one final stop before she left this ship forever. She knew Trip was asleep so there was no concern about him waking and seeing her as she was, an old woman. But, the draw to see the young face of the man she had loved her entire life was too much to resist. So, quite illogically, she found herself here, at his bedside, gazing down at his handsome face.

Phlox stood nearby for a few moments and when he was satisfied that she was just going to sit next to him, he left them alone.

Minutes passed with her looking at his face, his shoulders, his arms, his legs. It felt like she was transported back in time again, to the days when he would jump out and attempt to scare her (knowing full well their bond would never truly allow that to happen). To the days when he taught her to swim in a secluded lake with water as clear as glass; she could feel the water caress every inch of her naked body as his hands gently held her back and she floated. To the days when Lorian was a baby and they were beside themselves with worry for days because of a fever he had that wouldn't break. To the days when she first began to laugh in his presence and he looked at her each time as if it was a miracle only he was allowed to witness. To the days when having him around her and inside her was as needed as a look across the bridge or a quick hand hold or a stolen kiss on her head when no one was looking. And finally to the painful days, weeks, and months after his death when she not only lost him but their second son.

"Oh Trip," she sighed as she softly caressed his hair and ran her fingers gently along his jaw line.

The old lady slowly rose from her chair, her hip bothering her more than she cared to share, and turned to leave him as he was, for another T'Pol to (hopefully) love again.

"T'Pol?" a weak voice called out to her.

She turned, afraid she'd woken him and quickly realized his eyes were still closed; he was still in that state between wakefulness and sleep.

"Yes?" she replied softly.

"I love you, darlin'" he said softly as he swallowed hard.

"And I love you, Trip," she said softly as she took in her love one last time, and left the room.

When he opened his eyes half a minute later he was alone in his curtained area and heard the SickBay doors open and close before Dr Phlox came to his bedside.

"You're awake again, how do you feel?" Phlox inquired.

"Was T'Pol just here?" Trip asked.

"Commander T'Pol?" Phlox asked, knowing full well he was parsing hairs. "No, she wasn't."

"I swear she spoke to me," Trip said softly as she licked his lips.

"It's the concussion," Phlox said as he handed Trip a drink. "Commander T'Pol was here earlier though, as was Captain Archer."

"Oh, okay," Trip said as he relaxed back into his pillow after drinking some water. "Must have been dreaming."

"I'm sure that's what it was," Phlox smiled down at him. Denobulan hearing wasn't quite the same as Vulcan hearing, but Phlox had heard every word and had decided that the old woman deserved that moment to herself.

 **Vortex**

T'Pol was sitting and meditating in her room when the comm sounded. Trip wasn't supposed to be out of bed yet, so she wasn't sure who else it could be.

"Come in!" She called.

The door opened and closed. No one came inside. The comm rang again 20 seconds later.

"Come in!" T'Pol called again, confused by the behaviour.

The old lady then stepped inside and looked around the room.

"I didn't realize you were on board," T'Pol said as she rose to her feet.

"I thought I'd take a look around," the old lady said. "How's Trip?"

"Resting in SickBay," T'Pol explained. "The lacerations will take some time to heal but in a few days…"

"Has he woken?" the old lady asked.

"Not when I was present, but he did while Captain Archer was with him," T'Pol explained. "How did you know about his accident?"

"I felt it," the old lady explained.

T'Pol raised a questioning eyebrow.

"His thoughts were with you the moment we woke," the old lady explained. "Captain Archer may have some questions for you."

"Captain Archer?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"Trip woke and was…confused," the old lady explained. "He said some things to the Captain that he wouldn't have normally."

"Can you clarify?" T'Pol asked.

"I think it's best you discuss it with them," the old lady said softly. "I just wanted to fore-warn you."

"Thank you," T'Pol said with a nod, still unsure about what Trip could have said.

"I best go," the old lady said as she turned toward the door.

"Thank you for visiting with me," T'Pol said, uncomfortably.

"I hope I have helped clarify what's in your heart," the old lady said with a smile over her shoulder. "It can be…a challenge being in your position."

"Why is that?" T'Pol asked.

"Your heart and your logic are at odds with each other," the old lady said. "When that is the case, the best advice I have is to follow your heart."

"I will keep that in mind," T'Pol said with a nod before the old lady exited.

She knelt down to meditate again and an hour later found herself drifting back towards SickBay to check on Trip once more before she went to bed. She knew the likelihood he'd be awake was slim, but an illogical part of her just wanted to ensure he was alright.

She was shocked to bump into Captain Archer leaving SickBay.

"Captain," T'Pol greeted him.

"T'Pol," the Captain said as he eyed her strangely. "He's still asleep."

"I thought that was probably the case," T'Pol agreed.

"It's not very…logical to come here if you thought he was unable to talk, is it?" Archer asked, looking for some kernel of information.

"No, it's not," T'Pol agreed. "I'll return to my quarters."

"I'll walk with you," Captain Archer offered.

T'Pol nodded and they started for her quarters.

"You and Trip have become good friends," the Captain said conversationally.

"We have," T'Pol agreed.

"I hadn't realized how often I see you two together, until I really thought about it," Archer continued.

"I enjoy Commander Tucker's company; he provides great insight into the human thought process," T'Pol hedged.

"I'm sure he does," Archer said as he rubbed absently at his jaw.

They walked a few more paces in silence before they arrived at the turbolift.

"You know, Starfleet doesn't have a fraternization policy that prohibits people of equal rank being…involved with each other," Captain Archer said uncomfortably.

"I am familiar with the policy," T'Pol only offered.

The doors to the turbolift opened and they both walked inside.

"T'Pol…" he started but then stopped when he noticed her swallow hard.

He sighed and then reached over and hit the turbolift button halting it's progress.

"Captain?" T'Pol asked, confused.

"Trip…Trip said some things when he came to," Captain Archer started.

"He suffered a concussion," T'Pol said as she avoided his eyes. "Nothing he said should be taken seriously."

"I think he thought…I think he thought he was asleep in his quarters," Archer explained. "He has a few broken ribs and the strain on them was bothering him."

"I'm not sure how this is relevant," T'Pol said confused.

"I know this is not something that you are comfortable talking…"

"Vulcans do not get uncomfortable," T'Pol interrupted him.

It was obvious to Archer she was lying through her teeth.

"Fine, then maybe you just need to know that he called you darlin' and asked you to…" Archer finally started to divulge.

"It was probably not me he was…" T'Pol interrupted.

"His exact words were," Archer interrupted, annoyed. "And I quote, 'T'Pol, darlin', shift that sweet body of yours over a little bit, you're hurting my ribs and we need to get some sleep before mornin'.'"

T'Pol starred at him and didn't say a word.

"So instead of dancing around this any further," Captain Archer sighed as he reached over for the turbolift button to start it again. "How about we just agree that I know you two are involved, and that you are not breaking any fraternization policy. It is up to you and Trip if you want others to know about your relationship."

"Agreed," T'Pol simply said. The doors to the turbolift opened and they both stepped out and walked toward her quarters in silence.

When she arrived she put in her code and the door slid open.

"And T'Pol," Archer said causing her to turn and face him. "I'm very happy for the two of you."

She quirked an eyebrow and nodded. "Thank you, Captain."


	4. Chapter 4

**Judgement**

"What the hell is Lorian doing?" Trip asked her as she revived him in engineering.

"The situation is being resolved," T'Pol said as she helped him sit up.

"He shot me! Our son shot me!" Trip said as he slowly got to his feet.

"Lorian stunned you," T'Pol corrected.

"I thought we were getting close…" Trip said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"He felt we were making an error in judgement," T'Pol clarified. "His entire life has lead to this point and he didn't want it to be for nothing."

"What happened?" Trip asked.

"He finally agreed to talk, he's in the Brig," T'Pol said.

Trip Tucker immediately started to walk toward the Brig and T'Pol grabbed his arm to stop him.

"T'Pol he needs to explain…"

"The captain is speaking with him now," T'Pol explained. "Let them speak first before you say anything."

"He could have killed…" Trip started, angry.

"Remember your father," T'Pol reminded him.

Immediately, he started to deflate and she knew he was not going to the Brig to yell at Lorian. Trip would never forgive himself if his last words to his son were filled with anger.

"Thank you," he said softly moments later.

"You are welcome," T'Pol said quietly.

"Senior officers to the Bridge," Captain Archer said over the comm.

"I guess we'll talk with him later," Trip said as he and T'Pol started for the turbolift.

They arrived on the Bridge two minutes later and were surprised to see Lorian standing next to the captain looking over a map.

"Lorian?" Trip asked.

"Remember how I told you I was hard to manage as a teenager?" Lorian smirked at his father.

"Yes," Trip answered.

"Today brought back memories of those days," Lorian said, hoping his father wasn't going to explode in front of everyone.

"I imagine it did," Trip said finally. "So what are we going to do now?"

"Lorian and I think we have a plan," Captain Archer said before he laid out their idea for everyone's input.

The senior staff from both ships made modifications and discussed options before a course was set. An hour later, they decided to go back to their respective ships to run diagnostics and make sure repairs were complete before they started their plan.

"So we'll see you on the other side?" Trip asked Lorian as they approached the airlock.

"That is the plan," Lorian said.

"I'd like to spend more time with you once…once this Xindi weapon is dealt with," Trip said with a smile. "Maybe we could visit that planet we vacationed on?"

"Jernada?" Lorian asked.

"Yeah, that one," Trip smiled at his son.

"I'd like that," Lorian said as he felt his dad coming in for a hug.

Trip, as expected, pulled Lorian in for a hug that was reciprocated. The two men slapped each other on the back before parting.

"You stay safe," Trip said as he pointed a finger at Lorian. "I expect to hear how I got her to laugh."

Lorian and his father shared a secret smile before he turned to his mother.

"Mother," Lorian said, unsure as to whether she would accept the endearment or not.

"Please take care of yourself and your crew," T'Pol said kindly.

"I will," Lorian said with a nod.

Before he could step away she suddenly reached up and touched the side of his face gently before allowing her hand to fall back to her side.

Lorian looked visibly moved by the gesture and closed his eyes.

"Thank you," he said softly before he turned on his heel and went back to his ship.

"What was that?" Trip asked as they walked away from the airlock.

"What?" T'Pol asked.

"The face thing," Trip added.

"On Vulcan, it's an acceptable gesture between parent and child, even in public," T'Pol explained.

Trip looked at her astounded; he didn't know what to say so instead he just wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him slightly.

She tensed at first, but noting no one was nearby, allowed the gesture for the few moments it took then felt him release her to walk next to him again.

"I feel I should tell you that Captain Archer knows we are romantically involved," T'Pol shared as they walked.

"He what?!" Trip asked, astounded.

"You revealed it while coming out of your concussed state," T'Pol explained.

"What did I reveal?" Trip asked, confused.

"That you and I are in a relationship that involves us sleeping closely," T'Pol explained. "Captain Archer made the correct leap of logic that our relationship was sexual in nature and not platonic sleeping."

Trip stopped walking and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Trip?" T'Pol asked.

"What exactly did I say?" Trip winced.

"He quoted your words exactly," T'Pol explained.

"Oh, I'm sure he did," Trip sighed.

"You said 'T'Pol, darlin', shift that sweet body of yours over a little bit, you're hurting my ribs and we need to get some sleep before mornin'" T'Pol said without the southern drawl.

Trip sighed again and pressed even harder on the bridge of his nose.

"How'd he take it?"

"He reminded me that as similarly ranked officers there is no rule that says we cannot be involved and then he congratulated us," T'Pol explained. "He also added that he wouldn't reveal this knowledge to other crew members until we decided to proceed."

Trip leaned back against the wall behind him and crossed his arms over his chest, closing his eyes and bowing his head.

"Did I do something wrong?" T'Pol asked.

"No, it's just that…well, it's probably something I should have told him," Trip sighed.

"But you did tell him," T'Pol said, confused. "You were not completely conscious at the time but…"

"No, I meant as his friend," Trip explained as he pushed off the wall and walked toward her. "It's the kind of information friends share with each other, but things were so up in the air with you and…"

"You were unsure if we were going to proceed with the relationship and didn't want the knowledge of our sexual encounters to be known," T'Pol explained.

"Yeah, something like that," Trip said with a nod. "Nothin' I can do about it now, I guess."

"Information once revealed cannot be un-revealed," T'Pol explained.

"You got that right," Trip chuckled. "He's got a lot on his plate right now anyways. Maybe after we meet with the Xindi he and I can talk."

T'Pol nodded in agreement and they walked back down the hall toward their respective duties.

 **Jolted**

"He said that?" Trip asked T'Pol as they sat in his office waiting to hear from the other Enterprise. It had been 3 hours since they had passed through the anomaly with no sign of the second Enterprise.

"His last communication was that he'd see us soon," T'Pol said as she looked anywhere but at Trip.

Trip reached over and placed his hand over hers. "Then he will."

"It's possible time has re-set and they no longer exist," T'Pol explained.

"It's possible," Trip agreed.

"But if they no longer exist then we'd have no memory of them, so they must still exist," T'Pol continued.

"True," Trip agreed as he watched her go through her reasoning.

"And if they existed before we went through the anomaly, and we remember them on this side of the anomaly, the only logical explanation is that their ship was disabled or destroyed," T'Pol explained.

"T'Pol, we don't know…" Trip began, even though he knew her logic was sound.

"They'd be here by now," she said as she finally met his eyes.

Trip swallowed hard and nodded his head; she was right.

"So that crew is most likely gone," T'Pol said. "Lorian included."

"I wouldn't go that far," Trip explained. "There are escape pods, arms…"

"Trip," T'Pol sighed.

"Let's not count them out just yet," he said as he patted her hand and pulled away from her.

T'Pol rose from her seat and quietly left his office to return to the bridge. Hours later, she had a similar discussion with Captain Archer that was interrupted by a ship dropping out of warp. Her heart, illogically, skipped a beat as she waited to hear news of Lorian's Enterprise and hope was dashed when it proved to be the Xindi ship they'd agreed to meet. It looked like the other Enterprise was lost afterall. That night she crawled into bed with Trip and he just held her tightly as she drifted off into a restless sleep.

 **Jury**

Two days later, Trip was still working double shifts with his staff to try and get the ship repaired and to the Council meeting for the Captain. He hadn't seen much of T'Pol as most of her time had been taken up with meetings and planning sessions to convince the rest of the Xindi to not harm earth any further. The other Enterprise still hadn't arrived and everyone had lost hope that it ever would. He felt a deep loss for the son he hardly knew but also found himself too busy to properly deal with it. So, as Trip Tucker slid into his quarters in the middle of the night to finally get a few hours sleep, he was surprised to find T'Pol already there and asleep.

His muddled brain didn't have time or energy to think about the reasoning behind this appearance, so he just stripped down to his Blues and carefully crawled into bed next to her so he wouldn't disturb her. Unfortunately, T'Pol's keen awareness of her surroundings, woke her immediately.

"I was wondering how much longer you would be," T'Pol said evenly as she rolled to face him.

"You're not wearing any clothes," Trip observed as he placed his arms around her body.

"I sleep better this way," she said as she looked at his reaction carefully.

"Don't let me stop you from being comfortable," Trip chuckled as one particular part of him woke up.

"The attraction, the uneasiness, the responsiveness to you…it's still present," T'Pol said as she watched him carefully.

"So it's you not the other T'Pol who was feeling that?" Trip asked.

"We both were, intensely at times," T'Pol noted. "But now with her gone…I still feel it all."

Trip smiled at her. "Good to know."

"So I'm in love with you?" T'Pol asked.

"I believe so," Trip said with a growing smirk. "How do you feel about that?"

"Confused. Happy. Lustful," T'Pol explained as she ran a hand up his chest.

"Well your lust will have to wait, darlin'," Trip chuckled. "Because as much as we are both physically able to deal with that itch…I may just fall asleep mid-act. And neither of us would appreciate that."

"Agreed," she said as she noted his partially closed eyes.

"Let's just get some sleep," Trip said as he tried to will all parts of his body to relax.

"I worry about Lorian," T'Pol said softly into his chest. "I know it is illogical but…"

"Illogical or not, I worry about him too," Trip yawned.

"Do you think they are safe?" T'Pol asked.

"I hope so," Trip said not answering her question. "I really do."

T'Pol nodded against his chest and felt both their bodies relax as sleep quickly took them over.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: This is the last chapter for this little story of mine. I hope you enjoyed it! I'm going to also send it through to Triaxian Silk for posting there. Please review! Enjoy!**

 **Shocked**

"You really haven't told her about me?" Trip Tucker inquired as they sat eating in the mess on the Vulcan transport ship.

"I'm sure she's has been made aware of the circumstances of my travel to Vulcan," T'Pol said as she cut into her celeriac. The entire crew had been granted leave and, after the loss of Lorian, Trip and T'Pol had determined it was a smart idea to visit her home planet together.

"The circumstances of your travel?" Trip asked, confused as he tried to saw through the rather crunchy unknown vegetable on his plate.

"The captain of this transport vessel is an cousin several times removed," T'Pol explained. "He would have felt it his duty to inform my mother that we are sharing a cabin."

"But there weren't any available for me," Trip said as he watched a crewman across the room try and contain a sneeze. Honestly, Vulcans didn't even sneeze right.

"That is irrelevant," T'Pol explained.

"So logically I should have taken the next transport instead of stay with you?" Trip asked. "If I could even get a ticket on it."

"That would have been logical," T'Pol nodded.

"Then why didn't you suggest that?" Trip whispered.

"Because I wanted you to travel with me," T'Pol said cautiously.

"So now I'm the logical one?" Trip asked, confused.

T'Pol didn't reply.

"So, your cousin has just ratted you out to your mother?"

"Ratted?" T'Pol inquired.

"Told on you? Informed your mother that you were not acting properly?"

"Yes," T'Pol said. "But I knew that would occur as soon as I agreed to bring you. It's high season on Vulcan and my transport was booked weeks ago."

"And you didn't care?"

"I did not," T'Pol explained.

"I'm not sure I'm looking forward to meeting your mother now," Trip sighed as he gave up on his vegetable.

"Why is that?"

"Because she now knows, or thinks she knows, that we are in a relationship," Trip said quietly. "A physical relationship."

"But we are," T'Pol noted.

"So you were going to tell her about us?" Trip asked, surprised.

"I knew I wouldn't have to because of the transport," T'Pol explained.

Trip just shook his head; he was done trying to figure out her 'logic' behind this move.

"I thought everyone was looking at me because they thought I smelled," Trip said.

"You do, to them," T'Pol explained.

"But they're also looking at me because we're sharing a room?" Trip asked.

"Yes," T'Pol said as she finished her vegetables. "That and they'll pick up on the odour of mating."

"What?!" Trip asked, a little too loudly.

"Vulcan noses are highly…"

"So you and I have been walking around for two days smelling of sex, despite the showers?" Trip asked, his face reddening.

T'Pol nodded.

"And you didn't feel the need to tell me?" Trip asked, annoyed.

"I assumed you would realize that," T'Pol explained.

"You assumed incorrectly," Trip said as his eyes scanned the mess hall.

"I apologize," T'Pol said, honestly.

He wiped his mouth and placed his napkin down before he spoke again.

"What I don't understand is how you are comfortable with all this," Trip said honestly.

"You are my mate, in every way," T'Pol said honestly as she met his eyes. "I am not ashamed of you or my relationship with you."

Trip couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips. He'd gone from being angry with her to loving her even more with those words she shared.

"You're lucky I love you," Trip said as he eyed her carefully.

"I would agree," T'Pol said softly.

 **Schlep**

He had fixed every minor appliance in her mother's home and still felt like there was nothing he could do to win T'Les over.

"I see you have magnified the speed of the re-sequencer," T'Les said as she looked at the noodles in front of her.

"It was some coding I picked up that seemed compatible," Trip said as he lifted the mug of tea to his lips. He's been sitting at a table in the kitchen reading his Padd and hoping to avoid her as it wasn't a meal time.

T'Les nodded and then sat down across from him.

Trip put down his Padd and waited for her to begin.

"She is still obligated to marry Koss," T'Les said as she met his eyes.

"I don't think T'Pol sees it that way," Trip said unwavering.

"It's not a matter of perspective or opinion," T'Les said. "It is a fact."

"T'Pol called it off," Trip said quietly. He sincerely wished she was here and not meditating at some community garden this morning.

"She didn't complete the process of breaking the agreement," T'Les noted. "There is a protocol for…"

"Do Vulcans have rules for every aspect of their lives?" Trip asked, a little more harshly then he expected.

"The rules for breaking a contract are clear, and T'Pol didn't…"

"Then she can sign the paperwork now, while we're here," Trip said.

"It's not that simple," T'Les explained. "Koss' family wants her to complete the bond."

"I actually don't care what they want," Trip said. "T'Pol is not marrying a man she doesn't want to."

T'Les looked at him and sighed.

"Do you honestly think you have a future in which you are both not ostracized from your two worlds?" T'Les asked.

"I know we can have that future," Trip said. "I've seen it through the eyes of our son."

"He wasn't…"

"Lorian was our son," Trip said vehemently. "Maybe from a difference time and circumstance but…"

"In this time and circumstance you are not on a vessel isolated from your world and ours," T'Les explained. "Logically…"

"Thank you for your logic," Trip said as he abruptly stood from his seat. "I have reading that I need…"

"If you love her, as you seem to," T'Les explained. "You would allow her to make a logical, and correct choice for her future."

Trip walked away from the older Vulcan and toward the front garden where only the heat would be oppressive.

An hour later T'Pol walked into the garden and was surprised to find him sitting there in the mid-day heat.

"This is not the best environment for you," T'Pol said as she walked toward him.

"The kitchen is also not the best environment for me," Trip said as he wiped some sweat from his forehead. Even in the shade it was ridiculously hot. "Not if you want to keep me from saying something I may regret."

"Please explain," T'Pol said as she sat down next to him and waited.

"Your mother said you are still contractually bound to marry Koss," Trip said with some disgust.

"That is correct," T'Pol explained.

"You know this?" Trip asked, surprised.

"Of course," T'Pol acknowledged.

"And, like the sex smell, you didn't feel the need to share this with me?" Trip asked, annoyed.

"It's not your concern," T'Pol explained. "And I thought…"

"Not my concern?!" Trip asked as he swivelled to face her more fully.

"I assumed I could clear up the legalities in the first couple of days of our return," T'Pol explained.

"And have you? We've been here for a week," Trip explained.

"Not exactly," T'Pol admitted.

"How 'not exactly'?" Trip inquired.

"Koss is coming over for dinner and I'm hoping the two of us can come to a resolution that's agreeable," T'Pol explained.

"Is this a family dinner or an intimate dinner for two?" Trip asked with some venom.

"My mother and you will be there, of course," T'Pol said confused.

"Of course," Trip sighed and shook his head. "Am I supposed to just let you negotiate this or…?"

"It would be advisable if you allowed me to make the arrangements," T'Pol explained.

"And if he's not interested in calling off the wedding?" Trip asked.

T'Pol said nothing. She was way too silent for way too long.

"T'Pol?" Trip asked.

"I may need to marry him in name only and…"

"You may actually marry the guy?!" Trip exploded as he stood abruptly and marched a few steps away from her only to swivel on his heel. "Do you know how fucked up that is?!"

"I acknowledge that it's not the optimum solution but…"

"T'Pol, I thought we…we're bonded. We're together…mates…whatever you want to call it," Trip said, some pleading to his tone that he wished wasn't present. "Are you telling me that those…connections mean nothing?"

T'Pol rose from her seat and walked toward him. "They mean everything to me."

Trip sighed and smiled; it wasn't what he thought.

"But to the Vulcan legal system they mean very little."

Trip closed his eyes; it was as bad as he thought.

"What if you were already married to me?" Trip asked, his eyes still closed.

"No Vulcan priest would…"

"We could get the chaplain at the Starfleet compound right here on Vulcan to do it," he said as he opened his eyes and the blue seemed to pierce her very soul. "We could go there right now."

"Trip…"

"If you are married to me, then you can't marry him," Trip said as he took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "Let's get married."

"I don't think a marriage that begins to avoid another one, has the most auspicious of beginnings," T'Pol said as she squeezed his hands.

"Lorian's parents were married," Trip explained.

"In another time and place, they were," T'Pol explained. "I'm hoping that once I explain our bond to Koss, the knowledge that he'd never be able to have a bond with me will…deter him."

"T'Pol, I can't stand by while you marry him," Trip said as he stepped closer to her. "I do love you, and I do want to marry you, auspicious beginning or not."

She allowed a small smile to grace her lips before she leaned in and kissed him softly.

"You need a shower and I need to meet with an old friend," T'Pol said softly. "It will work out, Trip."

Trip dropped him forehead against hers and sighed.

"I will not marry him, even in name," T'Pol said quietly as she touched his chest right where his heart was. "I promise."

Trip nodded and kissed her forehead before he dropped her hands and went inside to shower. T'Pol watched in him leave and, instead of eating as she had planned, she left immediately to see her old friend T'Sol.

 **Surprise**

"I saw your latest structure near the Sandstone," T'Pol said conversationally as the four of them ate dinner. "Very impressive."

"It's meant as a reference to the Fires of Solange," Koss said with a nod. "I have been recommended for an award for that building."

"That is quite the honour," T'Les said.

"It is," T'Pol agreed.

"You will need to attend the awards ceremony with me in two weeks time, once we are married," Koss said as he carefully watched T'Pol. It was the first mention of their marriage the entire time he'd been that T'Les' house.

Trip sighed heavily and all eyes went to him. Between all the 'it's agreeable to see yous' and Koss' ridiculous politeness toward his fiancee's lover, he was glad someone had finally mentioned to elephant in the room.

"We will not be married Koss," T'Pol said as she placed down her fork.

"T'Pol, I advise you to listen to Koss," T'Les cautioned.

"I know about your human lover," Koss said with disgust as he eyed Trip. "As long as the affair does not continue once we are bound…"

"It's not an affair," Trip said as he placed his utensils down.

"Trip…" T'Pol cautioned.

"You have always been…curious," Koss said as he looked only at T'Pol. "And working amongst Humans has obviously fed your…interest."

"It's not an affair," T'Pol said with conviction.

"T'Pol, please…" T'Les started.

"No, mother," T'Pol interrupted. "Trip and I are mates."

The gasp that left T'Les' mouth was very un-Vulcan-like indeed.

"I don't understand," Koss said, the surprise in his voice also present.

"I have bonded with Trip," T'Pol explained.

"With a human?" Koss asked. "Is that even possible?"

"It is," T'Pol explained. "We have."

"It's obviously a juvenile bond and one that can be broken," T'Les said as she sat back in her chair. "It would be impossible for a Vulcan and a human to have the deep bond that only Vulcans share."

"Broken?" Trip asked, confused.

"We'll consult a priest," Koss explained kindly, as if she were a child that needed his assistance. "You must tell him that it was unintentional."

"We're not breaking our bond," T'Pol said, some fury and edge to her voice.

"She couldn't have known it was possible with a human," T'Les justified.

"Hold on a second…" Trip interjected.

"And you'll then be able to move forward with your own life," T'Les said to him.

"I don't want to move on without T'Pol," Trip said, confused by the course of events.

"I will not see a priest," T'Pol explained as she stood from her chair.

"T'Pol," T'Les coo'd. "It's for the best."

"I'm sorry," Trip said as he looked between Koss and T'Les. "Best for whom?"

"Both of you, of course," Koss explained.

Trip stood up as well and took T'Pol's hand. "We're quite happy as we are, and if you think…"

"Trip…" T'Pol cautioned.

"Please be logical, T'Pol," Koss entreated.

"Logical?!" Trip snapped.

"Is this the future you want? With an emotionally uncontrolled human?" T'Les asked her daughter.

"I may be pregnant," T'Pol suddenly burst out.

"What?!" All three other people asked in unison.

"I saw T'Sol this afternoon," T'Pol explained.

"T'Sol?" Trip asked.

"Her cousin, she's a doctor," T'Les explained.

"Humans and Vulcans cannot have children," Koss explained, logically.

"That's not accurate," T'Pol said softly.

"How can you think that you're…" Koss asked.

"You haven't gone through ponn farr with…" T'Les explained.

"A Vulcan female can experience an ovulation cycle that isn't necessarily triggered by ponn farr," T'Pol explained. "I've been having symptoms for ten days."

"Ten days?!" Trip asked, astounded.

"I thought it was the travel, the stress…" T'Pol explained.

"Why did you say you _could_ be pregnant?" Trip asked.

"It's unclear at this time," T'Pol explained. "T'Sol said she'd have to run more tests in ten days."

"You've created a child together," Koss said with a sigh as he sat back in his chair.

"You don't know that," T'Les said as she watched the man think about the ramifications.

"Even if there wasn't a child," T'Pol explained. "I would invoke the kallifee."

"T'Pol be reasonable," T'Les explained.

Trip looked at T'Pol and nodded. He would fight to the death against Koss to protect her and their child.

"I'd fight with the human?" Koss asked as he looked at Trip annoyed.

"That's Charles Tucker, the third," Trip said with a nod.

"With me," T'Pol explained.

"What?!" All the voices sounded again.

"T'Pol…" Trip cautioned.

"You'd risk death to stay with him?" Koss asked as he nodded his head toward Trip.

"No, you're not…" Trip started as he looked imploringly at T'Pol.

"I would," T'Pol nodded. "If there isn't a child."

Koss got up from his seat and nodded toward T'Les.

"Thank you for the agreeable meal," Koss said with a slight bow.

He then walked toward T'Pol and bowed slightly to her.

"I will complete the paperwork to dissolve our agreement," Koss said as he met her eyes. "I wish you a happy future."

T'Pol nodded. "Thank you Koss."

Then Koss took a step in front of Trip and instead of bowing offered his hand.

Trip took it, unsure of what to make of the Vulcan who had just given T'Pol freedom to stay with him.

"Vulcans mate for life," Koss said as he glared at Trip. "I trust you will honor that."

"I will," Trip nodded as the Vulcan's grip increased.

Koss finally released his hand and left T'Les' home without another word.

"Pregnant?" Trip asked T'Pol as soon as the door shut.

"Possibly," T'Pol said.

"I hope you both know what you have done," T'Les said as she eyed the pair of them.

"Now will you marry me?" Trip asked her, ignoring her mother.

"Let's wait for T'Sol's findings before we make any decisions," T'Pol said as she took his hand.

"Mother, we'll help you clean…"

"I'd rather be alone," T'Les said a little clipped.

T'Pol nodded and took Trip's hand to retreat to the bedroom they had been sharing for the last week.

"T'Pol," Trip said with a huge smile as he pulled her against him. The door had just shut behind them.

"You are pleased?" T'Pol asked.

"Pleased is an understatement," Trip said as he pulled her even closer.

"We won't know for sure until the day we are scheduled to leave Vulcan," T'Pol said quietly. "It is illogical to hope until we know."

"How long have you suspected?" Trip asked.

"The night before we left to come here," T'Pol explained.

"But that was ten days ago," Trip said, confused. "I thought you may be only ten…"

"While we were intimate," T'Pol explained. "There was a distinct feeling of creation. I was quite distracted by the sensation at first. Then, with the travel and my mother and Koss…I didn't have much time to analyse it."

"So what made you put it together today?" Trip asked, intrigued.

"When you asked me to marry you," T'Pol said as she met his eyes. "It was the same creation feeling I had when we joined that night. I decided I needed to investigate."

"And T'Sol?" Trip asked.

"She feels that, in all likelihood, there is a life present, but it being a human-Vulcan child, she is not sure if the life will sustain itself," T'Pol explained.

"Is there something we can do to…?"

"Rest," T'Pol explained. "If the life lasts the next ten days then we'll seek medical advice to sustain the pregnancy."

Trip kissed her softly and walked her toward their bed; helping her sit down.

"I wish you'd said something and I wouldn't have…we wouldn't have…"

"Mating has not changed our chances more than 17 percent," T'Pol explained as she laid down and invited him to rest with her. "Although, we should refrain from now forward until the doctors advise us."

"Agreed," Trip said as he wrapped her carefully in his arms. "Do you want to stay somewhere else? Your mom doesn't seem too…"

"It would be an insult to leave," T'Pol explained.

"Oh," Trip sighed. Another ten days with a disapproving mother was not something he was looking forward to.

"She'll be pleased once she knows the child is healthy," T'Pol said.

"Pleased with a half human grandchild?" Trip asked, surprised. "That, I'd like to see."

T'Pol said nothing in return.

"How is it that you are ovulating outside of ponn farr?" Trip asked sometime later.

"I've been doing some research into Vulcan and other alien relationships," T'Pol admitted.

"Other aliens?" Trip asked with a smirk. Humans tended to think of everyone else as an alien, but to T'Pol he was the alien.

"Vulcans have mated and married outside of their species," T'Pol explained. "Not often. And I read of no cases with a human…but it does occur."

"And what were your findings?" Trip teased. He loved that she'd been secretly researching this.

"That the ponn farr is triggered by the male Vulcan and if the relationship consists of the male Vulcan and female alien it usually results in pregnancy at that time as it would in a Vulcan-Vulcan relationship."

"Okay," Trip coaxed.

"A Vulcan female does not initiate ponn farr," T'Pol explained. "But if her alien lover…"

Trip waited for her to continue and when she didn't he rolled her onto her back so he could look at her face.

"If her alien lover…?"

"If her alien lover regularly stimulates her orgasmic response," T'Pol said as she blushed a slight green tinge. "It triggers her body to ovulate and thus increases the chance of pregnancy."

"Does it?" Trip asked, feeling quite proud of himself.

"I see this pleases you," T'Pol noted.

"You please me," Trip said as he leaned down and kissed her lips.

She returned the kiss and then rolled back onto her side. They slept soundly for the remainder of the night; both dreaming of the little life inside her.

Ten days later they were packed and ready to leave for the transport ship that would take them back to Enterprise. Her bloodwork was done and T'Pol was waiting for news from T'Sol about the pregnancy. She had the papers in her bag dissolving her contract with Koss; all loose ends were being tied up.

"You have packed all of your things?" T'Les asked as she watched her anxious daughter watch the door. A courier was to arrive with the news anytime.

"We have," T'Pol nodded.

"Thank you for your hospitality, ma'am," Trip bowed slightly.

"You, a human, have impregnated my daughter and destroyed her reputation and you thank me for my hospitality?" T'Les asked.

"Mother," T'Pol warned.

"What would you like me to say?" T'Les asked.

"Congratulations, would be a nice start," Trip said as he met her eyes. "You'll attend the wedding."

"Mother, let's not leave like this," T'Pol pleaded.

"T'Pol, let's not…"

Just then there was a knock at the door. All eyes went to it and Trip, sensing T'Pol's fear, walked to the door and received the message. He handed it directly to T'Pol and they waited for her to read it and tell them the result.

She read the note twice before handing it to Trip.

He looked down and read :

 _Pregnancy no longer viable. You will need earlier medical intervention for success. Please contact me when you are ready to attempt again_. _T'Sol_

Trip rubbed his hand across his eyes and handed the paper to T'Les before he pulled T'Pol into a hug.

"I'm so sorry darlin'" Trip said softly.

T'Pol allowed a few tears to fall as she hid her face against his chest.

T'Les couldn't help the sadness that encompassed her when she read the note. It was illogical. She should be pleased her daughter wasn't pregnant and unmarried with a half human child. But instead, she felt incredible sadness; her daughter and her mate were suffering.

"I grieve with thee," T'Les said softly as she touched her daughter's back briefly.

They stood together like that for some time before Trip convinced her they needed to meet their transport. T'Pol bid her mother goodbye and they were off to grieve privately for two days before they needed to be crew members pleased to be back on Enterprise.

It was a tough transition but eventually they moved forward. And in the years to come, they moved into marriage and the eventual healthy birth of a son Lorian, followed by a daughter T'Sol, and lastly a son named Charles Tucker IV. After T'Sol they moved off Enterprise and taught at the Academy, bought a home, sent the children to swimming lessons…and Trip did teach her to dance, she did make him a vegetarian, and once a week all three children ate meat and watched waterpolo. It was a different time, a different place then the one Lorian (the original) existed in, but it was a wonderful life, just the same.


End file.
